Just Because It Was a Book, Doesn’t Mean It Should Be a Movie
“The book was better” is a sentence we are all familiar with. Some snobby friend, you barely talk to, has to chime into most movie chats with the fact that he reads and is better than you. Has anyone suggested that maybe the book ain’t that great and it should avoid adaptation all together? Jay and I went to see “Murder on the Orient Express” this weekend, which is not worth your time, but neither is the Agatha Christie novel the flick is based on. It’s a story as old as time, there is a Murder (oh my god!), a group of strangers are trapped together (say what?) and no one knows who did it? I’m sure this story was groundbreaking in 1934, but in 2017 it’s old hat. Some stories do not age well or are any good to begin with.
Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey, Christine, Eat, Pray, Love are some examples of bad stories that shouldn’t have even been books. The Snowman is the latest in “worldwide phenomenon,” “New York Times best seller,” book to movie adaptations that ate its own shit. A killer who cuts up his victims and puts the body parts on a snowman? Or he cuts a persons head off then puts a snowman’s head in place of it. What’s this dude do during the summer? Chill out (See what I did there?)? Of course that movie tanked, the overall story stinks.
Stephen King is the biggest offender of this. The guy churns out book after book until your dad’s bookshelf has nothing but King and Dean Koontz novels in it. Ugh Dean Koontz, Christ! Tell me one good Dean Koontz book turned movie? Go ahead… I’ll wait… Nothing? Is there even a Dean Koontz story turned into a movie? Yes there is, but I’m not uttering them in this article. Stephen King will craft stories as compelling as “The Shinning,” “IT” or “Misery.” Then he’ll spit out “The Langoliers,” “Christine” or “The Mangler.” Those last two stories are about possessed machines.
The point being, there are bad stories in every medium so why tell it twice? Or three or four times? How many Romeo and Juliet like stories do we have to see? They’re dead for shitz sake, let that story die with them.