Rough Drafts: Week Two
Kano the Playboy (Kane’s Team) vs. Hooligans (Jay’s Team)
Kane: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? (See Jay) So far I logged the highest score of the season! What did I say? Did I say I’d be back? That the Playboy’s would be winners? I THINK SO! Michael Crabtree coming in hot, racking up the points! Emmanuel Sanders and those finely tuned athletes over in Denver doing me proud! Even the consistently hurt Robert Gronkowski bringing in 18 points, with Jay’s golden idle feeding my boy and humbling that giant. Oh and the Houston D, thank you for getting up off your fat, BBQ eatin asses and doing something this week. I feel strong and sexy, now it’s on to take down those tree cuttin ass nuns.
Jay: WHAT THE FAHK HAPPENED! Jesus, Antonio Brown 6 Points. Jordy Nelson 0 points, hurt. Ezekiel Elliott 2 points! I’m changing my team’s name to the Underachievers. I might feel “ok” about the loss if I had performers on my bench, but those dummies didn’t even do anything! Jordan Howard couldn’t even muster a FAHKING POINT! YUCK. It also didn’t help that Kane’s team I think were on PEDs this week. WTF! He scored the highest point total in a week of any team so far this year, and who did he do it against? Me… greaaaaaat. I will say, I’ve had more points scored against me than any other team in the league so far, so my guys gotta step up. Only highlight from the week, I picked up Kareem Hunt & Ty Montgomery from waivers, HOW WERE THESE GUYS NOT ON TEAMS!? Let’s just forget last week’s game though, act like it didn’t happen and in the words of the great Belichick… we’re on to LA Paw.
Nun but a Tree Thing (Mike’s Team) vs. LA Paw (Sean’s Team)
Sean: Wow. Talk about a rough draft! Well, I squeaked out a victory taking my team to the only undefeated group in the Podaholics league. I had to take Jimmy Graham into the office after last week’s showing. Told him he’d been replaced by Jordan Reed. And now it sounds like Reed is out for this weekend with an injured chest and a bum toe. C’MON!! While Gurley’s been KILLING it along with the rest of my RBs, my WRs have been having a rough go of it. Golden Tate, ODBjr, DeSean Jackson! You got this fellas! Pull it together! I’ve made some changes and feel pretty good about my team’s chances against the Hooligans. Dez Bryant is giving me palpitations and I’m still trying to decide if I’m going to put him back in the game. With that we head into week three and look to propel the LA Paw toward a 3-game winning streak.
Mike: Doug Baldwin, Greg Olsen and LeSean McCoy really did me wrong this week. I’m not mad about it (get well soon Greg!), because at least I was somewhat in the running compared to last week’s bed pooping. I’m hoping now that Russell Wilson remembers what a touchdown and scrambling for first downs feel like he’ll produce against the Titans. I will say that if he has one more bad week I might be looking on the waiver wire. I do like a lot of stuff about my team still. Mike Evans, Julio Jones, and Jay Ajayi for example. Also, the Denver defense, which I’m so excited to use against bronco believer Kane next week. Overall, still early. I can take two losses up front. I plan to get back up again and Chumbawumba the fuck outta these idiots.