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It's Almost Labor Day Weekend! So I Called in Sick and Here is How I am Healthier For it

It’s Almost Labor Day Weekend! So I Called in Sick and Here is How I am Healthier For it
  • September 1, 2017

We are so close to that three day weekend and I think I feel a little cold coming on. *fake cough* *fake cough* *real cough because I fake coughed too many times* Most adults have sick days and forget that you don’t have to be physically ill to take a sick day. If work seems to be kicking your ass lately, to the point where every day feels like this:

Then it’s time to call in sick and take a much needed break. Sure, you have three days coming up, why not take a fourth? Grab a vacation day and slap it on your bosses desk, then reach your arms back and relax. Do whatever your body is telling you to do, by staying home and getting some much needed couch time. Binge watch a bad show like Bloodline or soak in a great show like Narcos before your brain melts. Bad and good television is the corner stone of a good day off. I get out of bed around 10 a.m. Then I poor myself a bowl of off brand cheerio’s and I let HBONOW do my thinkin.’

Or you can head outside and enjoy the 105 degree weather. You can change your clothes as many times as you take a shower, so bring plenty of soap. I’ll make a whole day of it; grab a sandwich at my favorite sandwich hut, go to the ocean and take in the view, head to best buy and browse the electronics department and wonder about consumerism. Maybe I check out a movie and then hang with my best friend, while we shoot the shit until all hours of the night.

Maybe you’ve been sitting on this hobby that you are desperate to fulfill but you haven’t had the time. That is what sick days are for you dumb idiot! Finally learn to skateboard, or rock climb, or take some boxing lessons. Lets face it, a lot of millennials, myself included, do not know how to fight and end up looking silly when faced with that situation.

If your schedule is so jam packed that you feel stressed, with no support system, then join a group. Head to your nearest high school gym and find the first big titted man you can hold and squeeze. Take this sick day to finally join that group you have had your eye on, then cry and cry until you’re dry as a bone and his shirt is drenched in your sadness. Make sure this is the day you overcome your troubles and finally learn to be happy. When you join, put your all into it, everything you got! Don’t look back, just like swimming, the only way to move forward is with both feet in.

Take a sick day my friends, it is the healthiest thing for you….

Then go join a fight club….


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