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Legendary Comedian Pat Cooper Announces Retirement

Legendary Comedian Pat Cooper Announces Retirement
JR Berard

The 84-year-old Brooklyn, NY native was a guest on the Opie and Anthony Show on SiriusXM Friday morning where he announced that he would be retiring from the stage.

He explained that he felt he’s accomplished everything he set out to and that he’s too old to continue anymore. He admitted that he’s been relying on cue cards to get through live shows.

“If they write them any bigger the fucking audience won’t be able to see me!” he said, adding that it’s not just his eye sight that’s made thing difficult as of late. “Comedy is all about rhythm,” Cooper said. “If I’m noticing how my rhythm is not rhythm-y. It’s time to go. I got my dignity.”

“It isn’t fun anymore. It’s not fun if I have to rely on things to help me on stage, like a crutch,” he added. Cooper admitted that he actually stopped performing about four months ago. But this is the first time he’s gone public with his retirement.

Cooper (real name: Pasquale Caputo) commented on another aging legend’s career, iconic performer Don Rickles, 87. “With all due respect to Don Rickles, he’s not all there anymore. Retire!” Cooper mused. “And if he heard me say this, he’d tell me ‘mind my business’ and he’d be right!”

After 60 years as a comedian, Cooper said he’s happy hanging out with his grandkids now. A trip may also be in order. “I wanna go to Italy with a blind girl and tell her I’m Cary Grant,” he joked.

No one should worry about celebrating the comedian’s retirement, be warned: “If someone throws me [a party], I’m gonna tell ‘em, ‘fuck you’ and go back into show business the next day.”

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